How to stick to your guns when you are unsure where they should point...

Months ago, I shared my career position which was, and remains (for the most part) ultimately, undecided.

Yet, last night I met with some friends, old and new, who made me think about my oh-so buzzworthy generation, and our call to activism. 

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a journalist for just that reason: the sense of my heart.  In the words of Mr. Russell Wilson Sr. "Why not me?"  Like many activists, I love nothing more than to voice my egregious concern for the world; what it is, and what it is becoming.  Why shouldn't I join the ranks of journalists around the world, bringing justice to the world by revealing unseen truths. 

In my vision of reporting, I was an activist for every cause.  I would not have to be caught up in one cause, I would never have to choose a war to fight, I would simply be the valiant civil servant, offering a platform for every activist with the might to sound a war cry. 

But my endeavors into journalism proved fruitless.  My summer internship for a local magazine left me jaded.  From my experience, journalism by modern standards is not about bringing voice to the voiceless, but finding the voices that benefit the news organization and the almighty dollar.  It's about throwing together articles as instructed, despite the stories that are left behind.

When was it decided that truth can be bought and sold.  Who decided that it could be manipulated; it's parts amputated and sewn back together until it is unrecognizable?  

While studying journalism at university, my peers and I were taught the importance of unbiased journalism. I learned that truth is in the eye of the beholder, and it is our job as communicators, to fight for no one.  Not only are we to retell the truths that we see and hear, but we are obligated to seek out the deeper truths in order to share both sides of the story. 

It is so infrequent that stories are so easily conferred; so rare that there is a clear hero and an unrepentant villain.  Yet, these are the pictures our media paints daily. Depending on which news station you tune into, these roles are reversed and contorted, until there is very little sense of truth in the whole debacle.  

Tonight, I'm left wondering.  Is it I, who has become lost along the way?  Am I letting my ideals, get the better of my future?  

Is it better to defend you convictions, and stay pure but removed?  Or to dive in, perhaps becoming tainted yourself, while putting yourself in a position to make a change for the better?